Kiss
Puke
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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