he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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