she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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