Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize