She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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