The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
