my sisters under your porch take her home
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
