I'm jealous of your bromance
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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