That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I didn't shave. On purpose
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
