Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
