Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
