she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize