I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
