im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
