And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
