I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
