we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize