Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
