Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
