she was so not down for the gang bang
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Randomize
