I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
