She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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