Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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