Small penises have feelings too.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
