after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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