I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
