Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
