I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
