Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
