he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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