so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
