Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
