does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
