I haven't been this sober since birth.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
