The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
