Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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