ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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