Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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