I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
