is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
