five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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