Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
