we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
