kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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