"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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