When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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