saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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