Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
