mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
