I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
