I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
where does the pee come out of this thing
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
