Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
