Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
it was like eating out sand paper
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
