i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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