When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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