He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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