I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
