i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
That accounts for only three of the penises
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
