When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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