I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
