my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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