hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
