he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
