whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
