Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
